Someone in a professional position once told me that I couldn't work as a Holistic Therapist and a counsellor—they didn’t go together. Instead of convincing them otherwise, I asked, “Is there anything I could do or say to change your mind?” When they replied, “No,” I left it at that.
Over the years, I’ve learned not to converse with people who are unprepared to change their minds. It saves a lot of frustration. I am always open to having my mind changed, and I have learned so much in this way.
We are conditioned to believe that asking for help is a sign of failure, a sign of weakness. We tell ourselves that we do not want to burden anyone or that others have it worse than us. We convince ourselves that talking will not do anything but drag stuff up.
To be honest, I once thought all these things. Believed counselling was nonsense. I often wondered, "Why would anyone want to share their life with a stranger?" I was convinced that talking wouldn’t change anything about my past. Ironically, that very act of sharing and exploring my feelings ultimately transformed my life.
I sought help from a counsellor some years ago, in my 20s. I wanted them to “fix me.” This was long before I understood what counselling truly entailed. At that time, I viewed it as a complete waste of time and money. However, I didn’t share my real issues; I only revealed what was on the surface.
I grew frustrated with my counsellor when they didn’t probe deeper, hoping they would see the turmoil beneath the facade I presented. When they finally, very gently touched upon my actual struggles, I did what many do—I didn't go back.
This situation is more common than you might think in counselling, and I now understand that my previous counsellor knew precisely what they were doing by allowing me to clear the surface first. I was not ready to confront the shadows lurking deeper within.
Belieiving Counselling to have failed I still wanted to be "fixed." This desire led me to explore Reiki and Reflexology. I discovered a newfound love for bringing my body into balance and feeling present and connected. I managed to clear many issues on my own, but like weeds in the garden, more things surfaced. Healing was hard f@king work.
Realising I needed help with the remnants, I decided to give counselling another shot. This time, I approached it differently. I wasn’t going to run; Reiki and Reflexology had provided me with the balance I needed to step into my shadow.
I’m still healing, but now I understand the roots of my reactions and feelings. I can bring awareness to situations before they escalate. Most importantly, I recognise that I am human; I will get knocked down time and again, but I will not let anything break me.
This is why I offer both therapies to my clients. Sometimes, our bodies are so overwhelmed and stuck in fight or flight that jumping straight into heavy emotional work may not be the best option.
I know firsthand that this approach works. It has worked for me. This doesn’t necessarily mean this combination will work for you, but it might. Maybe your combination is different—sports training, counselling, acupuncture, coaching, massage and Reiki…whatever it is, find it.
Don’t think that because one thing didn’t work, nothing else will.
You owe it to yourself to understand that everything you need is already inside you; it’s there, trapped behind trauma and narratives created to shield you from further hurt.
You can stay where you are, but finding the peace you crave will be hard. The hardest part is making the decision to do the work you need to thrive. And remember, “Everything you have ever wanted is waiting on the other side of fear.”
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